Understanding Risk Factors

There is rarely a single reason why a child or young person may experience suicidal thoughts. Instead, a combination of factors can increase vulnerability during difficult periods in their life. Common risk factors include:

• Depression, anxiety, or other mental health difficulties.
• Social isolation and loneliness.
• Bullying, discrimination, or prejudice.
• Difficulties with friendships, family relationships, or peer groups.
• Alcohol or substance misuse.
• Exposure to suicide within family, friendship groups, or online communities.
• Previous self-harm, suicidal thoughts, or suicide attempts.
• Easy access to medications, weapons, or other means of self-harm.
• Fear, stigma, or reluctance to seek help. 

Protective Factors That Make a Difference

Strong, supportive relationships are one of the most important protective factors for children and young people. Parents and carers can help by:

• Building warm, trusting relationships.
• Encouraging healthy friendships and community connections.
• Helping children develop coping and problem-solving skills.
• Supporting access to healthcare and mental health services.
• Maintaining open, non-judgemental communication.
• Restricting access to potentially dangerous items, medications, and substances where appropriate.

Warning Signs to Look Out For

Not every child experiencing emotional distress will show obvious signs. Equally, not all children displaying these behaviours are thinking about suicide. However, the following changes should be taken seriously:

• Talking about wanting to die or ending their life.
• Expressing feelings of hopelessness, being trapped, or having no reason to live.
• Saying they are a burden to others.
• Withdrawing from family, friends, or activities they previously enjoyed.
• Significant changes in sleep or eating habits.
• Neglecting personal care and hygiene.
• Extreme mood swings, irritability, or emotional outbursts.
• Increased risk-taking or reckless behaviour.
• Increased use of alcohol or substances. 

The Importance of Talking

Creating a home environment where feelings can be discussed openly is one of the most effective ways to support your child. Let them know that talking about mental health is normal and that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. 

If you are worried about your child:

• Choose a calm and private moment to talk.
• Listen more than you speak.
• Stay calm and avoid showing shock or panic.
• Avoid criticism, blame, or judgement.
• Focus on understanding rather than fixing.
• Reassure your child that they are not alone.

You do not need to find the perfect words. What matters most is that your child feels heard, valued, and supported. 

Asking Directly About Suicide

Many parents worry that talking about suicide will put the idea into a child's head. Research shows that this is not the case. Asking direct questions can provide relief and open important conversations.

You might ask:

• "I've noticed you've seemed really overwhelmed lately. How are you feeling?"
• "Have you been feeling hopeless or like things won't get better?"
• "Have you had thoughts about hurting yourself?"
• "Have you thought about ending your life?"

If your child says yes, remain calm, listen carefully, and seek professional support immediately. 

Reducing Immediate Risk

If your child is experiencing suicidal thoughts, take practical steps to improve safety:

• Secure medications and medicines.
• Restrict access to items that could be used for self-harm.
• Increase supervision and support during periods of heightened distress.
• Encourage them to identify trusted adults they can contact when struggling.
• Develop a safety plan together outlining who they can speak to and what coping strategies they can use. 

Seeking Professional Help

If you are concerned about your child's safety or emotional wellbeing:

• Contact your GP.
• Speak with your child's school pastoral or safeguarding team.
• Seek support from local Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS).
• Access specialist mental health support services.

Remember that early intervention can significantly improve outcomes for children and young people experiencing emotional distress. 

When to Seek Emergency Help

Seek urgent support if your child:

• Has expressed an intention to end their life.
• Has a suicide plan.
• Has taken steps towards acting on suicidal thoughts.
• Has seriously self-harmed.
• Is at immediate risk of harm.

Call 999 or attend your nearest Accident & Emergency, or call NHS 111 and select the mental health option if immediate help is required.

Stay Calm

Although this may be difficult, remaining calm is one of the most important things you can do. A calm response helps your child feel safe and reassures them that they can continue to turn to you for support. Even if you are feeling frightened or upset, try to avoid reacting in a way that may increase their anxiety.

Take Self-Harm Seriously

Self-harm should always be taken seriously. It is often a sign that a child or young person is struggling emotionally and may not have found another way to cope with difficult feelings or experiences.

While factors such as peer influence or social media exposure may contribute to self-harming behaviours, the reasons behind self-harm are often complex and personal. Rather than focusing solely on the behaviour, it can be helpful to understand what the self-harm may be communicating about your child's emotional wellbeing.

Many children and young people find it difficult to put their feelings into words. Self-harm can sometimes be a way of expressing distress, managing overwhelming emotions, or coping with experiences they find hard to talk about.

Parents and carers often worry that they have somehow caused or missed something that led to their child self-harming. In reality, there are usually many factors that contribute to a young person's emotional distress.

Try to focus on providing support, understanding, and reassurance rather than placing blame on yourself. Your child needs your compassion and presence more than your guilt.

Respond with Understanding

It is natural to want the behaviour to stop immediately and to feel concerned about the risks involved. However, responding with anger, criticism, or ultimatums may make it harder for your child to be honest about what they are experiencing.

If your child feels judged or fears getting into trouble, they may become more secretive and less likely to seek help when they need it.

Remember that your goal is not simply to stop the behaviour but to understand and address the difficulties that are causing it.

Gently Explore What Is Happening

When your child feels ready to talk, ask open and non-judgemental questions such as:

• Can you tell me what was happening when you first started self-harming?
• How do you feel before and after you self-harm?
• Is there anything happening in your life that is making things feel difficult right now?
• Has anyone influenced or encouraged you to self-harm?
• How would you like me to support you?

Avoid expecting all the answers straight away. Building trust takes time, and your child may need several conversations before they feel comfortable sharing what they are going through.

Consider Developing a Safety Plan

When your child is feeling calm, it may be helpful to work together on a safety plan. A safety plan can outline:

• early warning signs that they are struggling
• coping strategies that help them feel safer
• people they can contact for support
• steps they can take when urges to self-harm increase
• how family members can help during difficult moments

If a safety plan already exists, reviewing it together regularly can help ensure it remains relevant and useful.

Find the Right Way to Communicate

Every child is different. The way you talk about self-harm should reflect your child's personality, communication preferences, and your family relationships.

Some approaches that young people find helpful include:

• Talking while doing another activity, such as driving or walking, where direct eye contact is reduced.
• Writing messages or letters if talking face-to-face feels uncomfortable.
• Choosing a regular time to talk, such as in the evening or during a quiet moment together.
• Speaking with another trusted adult, such as a relative, teacher, mentor, or family friend if your child finds this easier.

Respect Their Boundaries

Conversations about self-harm can be emotionally demanding. Consider agreeing on a signal or "safe word" that either of you can use if the discussion becomes overwhelming and needs to pause.

This helps your child feel more in control and ensures difficult conversations remain manageable.

Maintain Trust While Keeping Them Safe

Young people who self-harm often carry feelings of shame, embarrassment, or fear. Trust is essential.

Be honest about who may need to know and why. While you should respect your child's privacy wherever possible, avoid making promises to keep self-harm a secret. If there are concerns about their safety, you may need to involve health professionals, schools, or other support services.

Explain this openly so your child understands that any information shared is intended to keep them safe, not to punish them.

Reducing Risk and Promoting Safety

Supporting a child does not always mean self-harm will stop immediately. However, there are practical steps parents and carers can take to reduce risk:

• Encourage your child to tell you if they have self-harmed or feel at risk of doing so.
• Keep basic first-aid supplies available and ensure injuries receive appropriate care.
• Where possible, monitor and limit access to potentially harmful items, including large quantities of medication and other means of self-harm.
• Encourage the use of safer coping strategies identified within their safety plan.
• Ensure they know where and how to access urgent support if needed.

While these measures cannot eliminate risk entirely, they can reduce the likelihood of serious harm and help ensure support is available quickly when it is needed.